We often associate grief with death, a monumental, undeniable loss that stops the world for a moment. But what about the unseen grief—the deep sense of loss that comes with change, even change we celebrate?

I know what it feels like to be told, implicitly or explicitly, to shrug it off. I learned the hard way to be stoic. When death arrived, there was no time to pause; the calendar, the landlord, and the expectations of a family in crisis all pushed against the basic human need to mourn. The message was clear: Keep moving. Be strong. Don’t burden anyone.

That expectation is even heavier when the change is good.

The Quiet Ache of a New Chapter

Right now, my world is setting the stage for a glorious new chapter: Our son is forging his career 1,500 miles away. Our oldest daughter has answered the call of duty with the U.S. Army. Our youngest is embracing independence by purchasing her first home. These are moments of pride and excitement, mile markers of success and growth.

And yet, there is a quiet ache. The late-night talks, the easy proximity, the rhythm of a full household—the small, beautiful things I loved—are gone. They haven’t died, but they are forever changed, and a part of the life I knew has passed away.

This is a profound, valid form of loss. It is a grief for the way things were.

You Are Allowed to Grieve the Good

There is a strange expectation that when a chapter ends with a “win,” we must immediately jump to joy. We believe that to grieve the loss of the past somehow diminishes the excitement of the future. That is simply not true.

It is okay to pause and reflect.

• It is okay to miss the past even as you celebrate the present.
• It is okay to feel a sharp pang of sorrow for the end of an era.
• It is okay to cry. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not.

Grief is not an enemy of growth; it is often its prerequisite. Allowing yourself to mourn the past is the only way to truly let it go and create a clear space to embrace the future. You cannot move forward into tomorrow with your arms full of yesterday.

Moving from Mourning to Joy

In my faith, I find an anchor for this entire process. God is the one constant in a changing world—He never changes, and His word provides a foundation for our shifting lives. He gives us permission to grieve; what’s more, He grieves with us.

But He doesn’t want us to stay there. He gently lifts our gaze to see the world not through the lens of what was lost, but through the hope of what He is doing now.

The path forward is a delicate balance: Grieve the loss, but don’t hold onto it too tightly.

Take the time you need to pause, reflect, and cry. Then, when your heart is prepared, choose to look ahead. Choose to find the joy in this new, open chapter. Choose to embrace the next adventure with the renewed strength that comes from a heart that has truly let go. We move from mourning to joy not by forgetting, but by acknowledging the beautiful past and then preparing our hearts to welcome the beautiful, new things God is unfolding. The next chapter is ready to be written.

Respectfully Submitted,
Scott Soden
Director of Global Partners and Advancement