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Closing the Back Door of Your Church: Moving from Entitlement to Servanthood
Numbers of gifted persons and organizations have studied the phenomenon of the church “back door,” the metaphorical way we describe people leaving the church. And there will always be the anticipated themes of relocation or personal crises. We should recognize those issues, though we can respond to the latter more than the former.
But all the research studies of which I am aware, including my own, return to one major theme to explain the exodus of church members: a sense of some need not being filled. In other words, these members have ideas of what a local congregation should provide for them, and they leave because those provisions have not been met.
Certainly we recognize there are many legitimate claims by church members of unfulfilled expectations. It can undoubtedly be the fault of the local congregation and its leaders.
But many times, probably more than we would like to believe, a church member leaves a local body because he or she has a sense of entitlement. I would therefore suggest that the main reason people leave a church is because they have an entitlement mentality rather than a servant mentality.
Look at some of the direct quotes from exit interviews of people who left local congregations:
- “The worship leader refused to listen to me about the songs and music I wanted.”
- “The pastor did not feed me.”
- “No one from my church visited me.”
- “I was not about to support the building program they wanted.”
- “I was out two weeks and no one called me.”
- “They moved the times of the worship services and it messed up my schedule.”
- “I told my pastor to go visit my cousin and he never did.”
Please hear me clearly. Church members should expect some level of ministry and concern. But, for a myriad of reasons beyond the scope of this one blogpost, we have turned church membership into country club membership. You pay your dues and you are entitled to certain benefits.
The biblical basis of church membership is clear in Scripture. The Apostle Paul even uses the “member” metaphor to describe what every believer should be like in a local congregation. In 1 Corinthians 12:12-31, Paul describes church members not by what they should receive in a local church, but by the ministry they should give.
The solution to closing the back door, at least a major part of the solution, is therefore to move members from an entitlement mentality to a servant mentality. Of course, it is easy for me to write about it, but it is a greater challenge to effect it.
May I then offer a few steps of a more practical nature to help close the back door by changing the membership mentality? Here are five:
- Inform church members. Though I do not have precise numbers, I would conjecture that more than one-half of church members do not have a biblical understanding about church membership. Providing that information in a new members’ class can move an entire congregation toward a servant mentality.
- Raise the bar of expectations. We have dumbed down church membership in many congregations to where it has little meaning. Clarify expectations of members. Again, doing so in the context of a new members’ class is a great way to begin
- Mentor members. Take two or three members and begin to mentor them to become biblical church members. After a season, ask them to mentor two or three as well. Let the process grow exponentially..
- Train members. Almost 100 percent of pastors agree that their role is to train and equip members. But almost three-fourths of these pastors have no plans on how they will train them (see Ephesians 4:11-13). I will address this issue more fully on my blog next Wednesday.
- Encourage people to be in small groups. Those in Sunday school classes and small groups are more likely to be informed and functioning church members. In others words, there is a much greater likelihood of a member with a servant mentality to be in a small group than not.
What are you doing in your church to close the back door? What are you doing to move members from an entitlement mentality to a servant mentality?

Read more from Thom here.
Thom Rainer
Thom Rainer is the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources. Prior to LifeWay, he served at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary for twelve years where he was the founding dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions and Evangelism. He is a 1977 graduate of the University of Alabama and earned his Master of Divinity and Ph.D. degrees from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. In addition to speaking in hundreds of venues over the past 20 years, Rainer led Rainer Group, a church and denominational consulting firm, from 1990 to 2005. The firm provided church health insights to over 500 churches and other organizations over that period. Rainer and his wife, Nellie Jo, have three grown sons: Sam, Art and Jess, who are married to Erin, Sarah and Rachel respectively. The Rainers have six grandchildren: Canon, Maggie, Nathaniel, Will (with the Lord), Harper, and Bren. He is the author of twenty-two books, including Breakout Churches, Simple Life, Simple Church, Raising Dad, The Millennials, and Essential Church. His latest book, I Am a Church Member, is scheduled to be released in 2013 by B&H Publishing Group.
The first annual Camp Kairos Winter Camp, held at Potomac Park in Falling Waters, WV, from January 17th to 19th, was a resounding success. Attendance exceeded expectations, with over 120 attendees in 3rd through 12th grades representing six different churches (Compass, The Gathering, Oak Hill, St. James, Liberty, and Mt. Olive). New friends were made, old friends reconnected, and everyone looked forward to a wonderful weekend together.  Camp Kairos’s theme was "ONE," based on Philippians 1:27, how we are one mind, body, and spirit in Christ. This theme was the thread that tied the weekend's activities and worship services together. Amanda Carriere and Brandon Hartle (both of St. James) shared messages with the campers, and Lee Reams (Compass) and the Compass Youth Praise band led the camp in worship. Afterward, our elementary campers would dig deeper into the message with a Bible video and discussion. Campers were divided into small groups for hands-on activities and games that reinforced the Bible lessons. The weekend was jam-packed with fun and fellowship. Camp kicked off with a pizza party, worship, and brownie sundaes. The weekend was filled with fun activities including a marshmallow snowball fight, snow globe craft, gingerbread contest, snowman building contest, and an ultimate small group competition. Other favorites from the weekend included tubing down Slippery Slopes, playing basketball and soccer in the indoor gym, enjoying ice cream at PERKS Coffee Shop, a campfire with smores, and a glow dance party. Meals were great and special accommodations were made by the Potomac Parks chef for those with allergies. Chyann Mackey and Laura Waldron, both of Mt. Olive, organized the camp and served as its Co-Directors. They led a small army of volunteers who made the Southeast Region’s winter camp possible. They included Morgan Sterling (The Gathering), Avery Zimmerman, Nancy Zimmerman, Marty Dearing, and Lucy Johnson (all of Mt Olive); Drew Fox, Ronnie Helton, Kelly Helton, Kim Butner, and Tricia Haynes (all from Oak Hill). A big, big THANK YOU to all of the folks who made Camp Kairos 2025 a huge success! It was an amazing weekend, and we are excited and expectant to see the Lord move in huge ways as we continue planning summer camp. Thank you for all of your prayers and support! Chyann Mackey and Laura Waldron
Hurricane Milton roared out of the Gulf of Mexico at 8:30 P.M. Wednesday night, October 9, and slammed directly into Sarasota, Florida, causing widespread damage, including severe damage to the buildings of First Brethren Church of Sarasota. When it made landfall, Milton was a Category 3 hurricane with sustained winds of about 120 mph. Most of Sarasota experienced hours of wind ranging from 90 to 120 miles per hour. When the wind and rain calmed down, Sarasotans came out to survey the damage. Countless trees were down. Electric power lines were strewn over houses and roads. The majority of roofs sustained damage, ranging from a few missing shingles to complete losses. The electricity took days to restore. Thirty-five people died in the storm. The property damage was estimated at $34 billion. At First Brethren Church of Sarasota, at least six huge pine trees were blown down. One fell on the east side of the fellowship hall. It barely scraped the roof but fell right on three air conditioner compressor units. Amazingly, although they were dented severely, they could be straightened out and run. Another fell on the church shed. It was completely demolished down to the ground. Again, the riding lawn mower was parked in the only corner that was untouched by the tree. The most damage was caused by another tree. It fell on the west side of the fellowship hall. There it damaged a covered walkway and a large overhanging eave from the gable end of the fellowship hall. It looked at first as if the building would need extensive reconstruction. The roots of the tree had also ripped up the pipes supplying water to the buildings. All the buildings had lost many shingles. What made matters worse is that the church insurance excludes windstorm damage. No insurance company had been willing to cover this hazard. The church people got to work on recovering from this devastating damage. A tree company was hired to remove the trees, which was very expensive. The fellowship hall roof damage was mostly confined to the eaves with only a few branches puncturing the roof over the inside of the building. The members of the church put a tarp over that area. They also fixed the air conditioner units and removed the ruins of the shed and its contents. They also picked up all of the yard debris. Meanwhile, many around the country saw the need and decided to help with generous gifts to the church. These gifts came from congregations, individuals, and the Brethren Church national office. The recently retired pastor of the Nappanee Brethren Church, Tom Schiefer, heard about the damage and asked the church for volunteers who would go to Sarasota and help in recovery efforts. Nate Yoder and two young men who work for him in construction, Travis Yoder and Ryan Mullet, agreed to go down. They only had five days but they accomplished so much. They rebuilt the large eave overhang that had been damaged. They fixed all the damage to the roof from the tree. They replaced all of the missing shingles on the church sanctuary and the fellowship hall. They also repaired a concrete lintel on the walkway canopy that had been cracked by chipping out the concrete, forming a mold, and pouring new concrete around the existing rebar. Then they replaced the destroyed canopy boards and re-roofed the canopy as well. The damage turned out to not be as extensive as it appeared. The fellowship hall was constructed with massive I-beams as its main structure. The tree hit one of those I-beams and stopped without further damage. Even the large plate glass gable was undamaged. Sarasota Brethren have gone on short-term mission trips to help others, both in the United States and abroad, but it was a new experience to be on the receiving end of a mission trip. They are grateful to their brothers at Nappanee Brethren for their wonderful work. David Stone Pastor, First Brethren Church of Sarasota, Florida
Titus 3:4-7 says, “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” This past year, our church (Raystown Brethren Church, Raystown, PA) had the privilege of celebrating the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit with two individuals as they were baptized. We also had the immense privilege of taking in seven new members into our growing church family. We celebrate these incredible moments with joy, knowing how fleeting life can be as we have also seen four church members move on to be with the Lord in Heaven. We celebrated their lives and mourned their loss here on earth, knowing that they have finished their race and are now in Glory. We have also seen new life be born as we celebrate the birth of new family members to our congregants. We have had many reasons to celebrate as a church family throughout this past year. We hold fast to the hope we have in Jesus and to each other through all of life’s moments; praying for one another and cheering each other on. We look forward to all that the upcoming year has in store for us! Al Chamberlain Pastor, Raystown Brethren Church 
The past year has presented significant challenges for our partners in the Philippines, including six powerful typhoons and devastating flooding. Yet, even amidst these trials, the light of hope and joy has shined brightly, revealing remarkable reasons for celebration. In March 2024, a vibrant new church was established in Cay Pombo, a rapidly developing neighborhood outside Manila. This journey started with a humble gathering in Pastor Rolly Gubala's garage alongside his devoted friend and ministry partner, Pastor Efren Corido. By God’s grace, the church has begun to flourish, reflecting His love and purpose. One new church would be reason enough to celebrate; there’s so much more to this story! In the aftermath of the floods, the churches came together, inspired by Christ’s command to love our neighbors. They reached out to assist those who had lost everything, helping them relocate to a new neighborhood outside Bocaue. In their service, they addressed urgent needs for food and shelter while also ministering to the spiritual hunger within the community. This compassionate outreach led to the formation of a thriving Bible study that engaged hearts and transformed lives. On Sunday, November 24th, the first service of JOFF Brethren Church in Pandi was joyfully celebrated. Since that day, the church has continued to grow, filled with worship services, Bible studies, and outreach efforts that reflect the heart of Jesus. This is a powerful testament to what God is doing through the Brethren in the Philippines, showing that even in adversity, His light and love can shine through us.  Scott Soden Coordinator; Brethren Global Partners
The Brethren Church in Puerto Maldonado celebrated its 8th anniversary on Sunday, January 26th! This milestone was incredibly inspiring for the congregation as they gathered in their new, still-under-construction facility. The day-long event featured two worship services, guest speakers, special dances, a meal, and new worship center's first wedding. It is genuinely an extraordinary testimony to the work that Jesus is accomplishing through the power of His Holy Spirit! We extend special thanks to Mount Olive Brethren Church, Smithville Brethren Church, and Brethren Church Global Partners, who generously contributed much of the funding for this building project. The new location has already become a blessing for the community, situated in an area many had previously chosen to avoid. Everything has changed now. This beautiful structure has transformed the landscape of what was once a neglected place, attracting people from all over to engage in worship and foster hope. Join us in celebrating with Pastor Segundo, his wife Vilma, and the entire congregation for eight years of meaningful ministry in Puerto Maldonado. We look forward to many more years of service from this new location, which the church proudly owns. This place will become the center for numerous church ministries and new congregations in the region. Praise God! Scott Soden Coordinator; Brethren Global Partners
In mid-January, a team from Summit Ridge Community Church (Tucson, AZ) consisting of Randall Hartman, Tom Oberin, Bryan Bentz, and Dan Acker traveled to Spokane, Washington, to assist in the recovery efforts following the devastating summer 2023 wildfires. Partnering with Mennonite Disaster Services (MDS), the team joined other volunteers from the Pacific Northwest and Midwest. Over the course of a week, they contributed to the rebuilding process by drywalling, installing cabinets, and adding insulation to three homes. While working, the team had the opportunity to speak with the homeowners and hear their firsthand accounts of the fires. These homeowners shared distressing stories and even showed videos capturing the terrifying speed and destructive power of the flames, which left them with little more than the clothes on their backs. The work was physically demanding, but the team found deep reward in contributing to the rebuilding process and, most importantly, offering hope to these residents that recovery is possible, even after such devastating losses. Dan Acker Pastor, Summit Ridge Community Church West Regional Resource Coordinator
At Vinco Brethren Church (Mineral Point, PA), we believe ministry happens when we listen to the people in our congregation—especially the youngest among us. That belief sparked the creation of a new youth ministry gathering called Proverbs & Pokémon , which has become a blessing not only to the kids but to the entire church. The idea for Proverbs & Pokémon began during a simple conversation with three of our youth after a Sunday service. They were chatting about their love for Pokémon cards—collecting, trading, and battling. Their excitement was contagious, and as we talked, the idea began to form: what if the church could provide a space where kids could gather, trade cards, and engage in fun Pokémon-themed activities? But beyond that, what if we could use this shared hobby as a way to teach the wisdom of Jesus? With that vision in mind, Proverbs & Pokémon was born. Every month and a half, kids come to the church to enjoy trading cards, participating in Pokémon-themed events, and sharing their enthusiasm for the cards with other fans. But the heart of the gathering is our time in scripture. We take these moments to teach timeless truths from the Bible, connecting the wisdom of Proverbs and the teachings of Jesus to their everyday lives—even to their hobbies. Every kid who comes leaves a gatherer, gathering more kids each time we meet. So far, we’ve hosted three gatherings, and the response has been incredible. Each event has brought in a few more kids, and the best part is their parents often stay, too. As they listen to the joy and laughter filling the room, they also hear the scriptures being taught and see how the gospel is influencing their children. It’s a powerful reminder of how faith can transform any space. We’ve also learned an important lesson: sometimes ministry starts with simply listening. When we take the time to hear what kids are excited about, we can find the crossroads where their interests meet the opportunity to make faith real. What might seem unrelated to religion—like Pokémon cards—can actually be the bridge that connects them to Jesus. Beyond the cards and games, the gatherings provide fellowship and food. It’s hard to beat the combination of pizza, friends, and fun, and many of the kids have expressed how much they look forward to coming back. Our hope is that this ministry encourages others to think creatively about reaching the younger generation. Listen to the kids in your church. What are their hobbies? What brings them joy? How can you create a space where their interests intersect with the gospel? Ministry doesn’t always have to look traditional—it just has to be intentional. Proverbs & Pokémon has been a gift to our church and community, reminding us that God can use even the smallest things—like a Pokémon card—to teach wisdom, build relationships, and reveal His love. We can’t wait to see how this ministry continues to grow and bless the lives of everyone involved. Pastor Zac Yonko Vinco Brethren Church
On November 3, 2024, three more people were baptized at Bethlehem Brethren Church in Harrisonburg, Virginia. Two adults who have been regularly attending for several months joined our church through the waters of baptism, along with one of our youth! As Pastor Gail’s mentor, Pastor Fred Miller of Mount Olive Brethren Church likes to say, “Your baptism is your first sermon.” Indeed it was! The baptisms were greeted with praise to God and a couple of questions about future baptisms! We have seven children attending Bethlehem right now and some of them have also expressed an interest in baptism. Our baptisms included a mother and daughter along with Pastor Gail’s granddaughter. Each person baptized was presented with a white beach towel, with their initials and date of baptism embroidered in blue on the towel. We held two baptisms earlier in the year and each of those received a towel as well. It was a suggestion from Susan Kidd in our church and one that we intend to continue as a wonderful reminder of a precious day. Bethlehem holds Fellowship Sunday on the first Sunday of each month, and we celebrate with coffee, donuts, or some other treat. This Sunday, we held it in the fellowship hall to add to the celebration of the baptisms in sweet fellowship with one another. Another thank you to the Southeast Regional Leadership Team for approving the purchase of a portable baptismal since ours is not in working condition. We give all thanks and glory to God for all He is doing in our midst. Gail Heiston Pastor, Bethlehem Brethren Church Southeast Regional Resource Coordinator
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash Comfort ye. These are the first two words in George Friderich Handel’s The Messiah. Then, the text repeats these words: “Comfort ye, my people.” “Comfort ye” is the theme of the Handel’s great oratorio. As Charles King points out in his wonderful new book, “Every Valley: The Desperate Lives and Troubled Times That Made Handel’s Messiah ,” Handel’s masterpiece proclaims hope for a dark world. Actually, Handel did not write the words. The great composer’s librettist was Charles Jennens, a conservative appalled by the times in which he lived. Jennens believed in inherited institutions. He rejected much that was theologically current, including Deism, rationalism, and the Enlightenment. Faith, like the monarchy, rested not on reason but on awe and mystery, anchored by the King James Bible. Politically, Jennens favored the old, deposed Stuart dynasty, exiled in France, which made him a distinct outsider and potentially treasonous. King also describes the personal life of Jennens, which had more than its share of darkness. Jennens never married and depression plagued him. Likewise, for English society the times were tumultuous. Civil, colonial, and European wars haunted recent memory. Deep poverty was widespread, and the international slave trade fueled the economy. Jennens was a significant investor in the South Sea Company, which trafficked in slaves, and Handel owned its stock for several years. In the midst of all this theological, political, and personal darkness, Jennens created a comforting libretto that exudes light. He wrote about wonder, promise, and the ability to nudge life in that direction. Suffering is part of the world, but God stays with us through it. Jennens’s Messiah exudes optimism. Jennens accomplished this in three parts. Part I states prophecy (the crooked will be made straight and the rough places plain). Then the libretto moves into struggle, (he was despised and rejected). But in Part III Jennens declares a glorious expression of hope. Hallelujah! Comfort ye, my people. Handel didn’t care about any of this. He was a gluttonous, gouty man of the world with a well-deserved reputation for prolific cursing. But he saw something in Jennens’s libretto that inspired him to write soaring, passionate, melodic, and memorable music that puts an exclamation point on the pathos and joy of the Jennens’s words. For many, today’s times resemble Handel’s (and Jennens’s). Like Jennens, many suffer personal pain. Young people, especially young men, feel darkness due to college debts, home unaffordability, career stagnation, or difficulty in forming relationships. In the public sector, apprehension about the future is at an all-time high. This is not the time or place to catalogue the many causes of darkness in today’s world, but whether conservatives who worry that the tides of history run against them on cultural issues or progressives who fear the worst in climate change, deep anxiety is an epidemic. Whatever our political taste—be ye red or be ye blue—we can easily tick off multiple causes for alarm. In all honesty, sometimes the darkness wins. I strive for realism, and I detest Pollyannaism, which is often a popular fallback in church circles. Consequently, I know that sometimes life gets very hard. But not always. In our times, like Jennens’s, all is not lost; there is a better way. In this season may we give our mental make-up a little more attention (comfort ye), nurture hope (the trumpet shall sound), and wait for an opportunity to make a difference. Can I get Handel’s (and Jennens’s) last word? Amen. Steve Longenecker is Professor of History, emeritus, at Bridgewater College (VA).
As a brand-new member of Park Street Brethren Church in Ashland, Ohio, I must confess I do not have the long-lasting connection to the old sanctuary as many in my community do. However, I have heard many stories from the people who have been a part of the Park Street Brethren Church community for decades. I have heard stories of Joann Ronk, who was the organ player and often the glue that held the church together. I have heard stories of Pastor Arden Gilmer, the longest-serving pastor of the church and a spiritual giant, who is still talked about in reverent tones today. I had the honor of meeting Jerry Flora just last year when he joined Jason Barnhart for an episode of the Brethren Way Podcast, both gentlemen who have been influential in establishing the theological underpinnings of Park Street’s thought and practice through years of writing and teaching. Many “Brethren Greats” have worshipped in the hallowed, old sanctuary, and the history within its walls is palpable when you walk into the now dusty, decrepit space. Even so, as a church, a body of believers committed to following the leading of the Holy Spirit in every decision we make, Park Street members decided 5 years ago that it was time for the old sanctuary to come down to make room for what God has in store for our future. (If you would like to know more about this decision, read here ) This decision was not made lightly, and it came after hearing a staggering quote of one million dollars needed to restore it to a safe condition. As a people committed to the Jesus Way, we realized, after many tears, laments, and stories were shared, that the legacy of Park Street Brethren Church does not live in the old sanctuary but in the memories and hearts of those who make up the spiritual body of Christ. To tear the building down and rebuild something new and better suited to our needs, for a fraction of the cost, is better stewardship of the gifts we’ve been given and will serve us well as we follow the Holy Spirit’s leading in the next season of our church’s life. As demolition of the old sanctuary has begun and will be in full force after Christmas, The Lord has caused me to think of the hymn, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus.” The line, “And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace,” has been especially poignant to me, as the Ashland community has recently become aware of our five-year-old decision. Understandably, the community has many feelings of nostalgia, sadness, and anger regarding the news. I have been encouraged by many people sharing more stories of their time growing up at Park Street, and my heart breaks for them amid this loss. I have been disappointed in the responses that assume that we don’t care at all about our history and that we are simply throwing it away to build something “flashier.” While I understand that without being a part of the current Park Street community, many Ashland residents would have no way of knowing the heart behind our decision, I wonder if, as they are making these harsh assumptions, they may be missing some very important truths. When we hold too tightly to the things of earth, sometimes we forget that they will soon grow dim in the light of something so much better: God’s glory and grace. Certainly, when the things we know and love deeply here on earth pass away, there are very valid feelings of sadness, heartache, and anger that come with loss. However, when the things of earth pass away, it creates room for the glory and grace of God to shine through in a new way, which has always been the point. If the only legacy Park Street Brethren Church has to offer is a pretty building with nice stained glass windows, I say tear it down and tear down the new one, too. Instead, may our legacy be the lives transformed for good through Park Street Brethren Church and the Kingdom work accomplished by the body of Christ within it. Lydia McCullough Park Street Brethren Church O soul are you weary and troubled No light in the darkness you see There's light for a look at the Savior And life more abundant and free Turn your eyes upon Jesus Look full in his wonderful face And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace His word shall not fail you he promised Believe him and all will be well Then go to a world that is dying His perfect salvation to tell Turn your eyes upon Jesus Look full in his wonderful face And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace Written by Helen H. Lemmel, 1922